I am tired. Whooped. Pooped. Exhausted. I am hot, cranky and feel like my emotions are out of control. So, I am blogging about it so I can just say I did. No judgements right?
Today was not at all a Debby Downer Day by any means, just tiring. Maybe it is just the lingering summer heat. The dog “days” as Flo’ would say. I am craving a cold beer but I think I will pass. As a matter of fact I think my time of consumption is going to be quite limited once I enter back into the classroom next week. And, as a matter of another fact, that actually is one of the things that is bothering me. The classroom. I am SCARED to start this new career path just as much as I am excited to see it come to pass. But monkey mind keeps butting in telling me I am too old, or too slow (coming in at close to age 43) to be keeping up with these young student peers who will be just entering adult hood. And when this chimp in the brain sets off a trail of chatter in my head, I have to stop it and remind the real me that I am not too old to become a Massage Therapist because much of my work is done already done energetically and intuitively. The Deep Tissue and Cranial Body work is the just for the benefit of knowing how the body works and where to touch so I can help make holistic correction in other people’s vehicles. (Their Body of course).
By rights of my calling, I can lay hands on people and hope and pray for solid alignment as it is available to us. I will commit to work on humans and send positive energy into their energy field and imagine them whole. But dog-gone-it why am I so anxious about this week? I feel like it is because I never fully trust in myself to do something all the way. I have had so many false starts in the last few years I am a little bit shell shocked when it comes to starting something new. But I have to believe that cultivating wisdom comes when you just don’t easily give up even when you have a moment when you really want to. Today, I really wanted to back out. However, I made a wise decision to ask myself if these thoughts are coming at me in a uncontrolled motion of panic or is there a valid reason to change all that I have worked at this point? And you know what? I recognized the emotion of panic right away and told it to settle down! And, it did, slowly. So as tired and cranky as I am tonight I can still say, “Game on!”