Our vacation has been spectacular. It is the one vacation that we planned, just the two of us, to call our dream vacation. It has been on the bucket list for 4 years. Our family tried to move here several years ago by transplanting from work and we were very close to the dream. We did everything we were supposed to in all earnest to make our way to Charleston permanently and I just knew I would be the best Account Manager in the city and life would be “happily ever after”. However, it did not work out because universe shut the door on us. I was angry, bitter and felt very used when “others” manipulated their way into controlling me and took measures in my hands for mental revenge. But, and I say but very loudly, because it really was not in the cards. So, thank you to those folks that stepped in the way to stop me from living here. Vacationing in Charleston has been much nicer than expected but I am now ready to make my way back home. 🙂
My dream vacation has given me time away from my kids, my responsibilities and my fight for survival. It has given me much needed time alone with my husband. And I would NOT be who I am today without his love, support and his cheerleading to find out who I really am as a woman, a mother and a friend. I am a doer. I wear myself out. I am a great seeker of mystery and I am problem solver but I am not omnipotent. And, after the last four years of kicking against the pricks, trying hard to learn about my Mind, my body and my Spirituality, I have learned to let life take it’s course.
During it is “coursing, ” I am gaining new forms of patience, new forms of communicating and new forms of trusting. I am learning to trust that some “universal family” across the veil is cheering me on to be a Light Bearer and a Mystery Seeker! Spirit is teaching me to be aggressive in all things good but to not forget to keep my eyes wide open so that I do not infringe on other people’s Will’s. I cannot control everyone and I cannot stop them from experiencing pain, suffering and challenges. It is hard to see people hurting, but if I had the ability to take away all their pain and angst, how would THEY experience life just as powerfully as I have? Just like the ocean, you cannot control the tides, the waves or the winds, and sometimes you have to just let things be, for ourselves and others.
This week, I have embraced my rest from “reality”. The dishes, dogs and dirty laundry. I have embraced the fact that I have NO IDEA what is next for us and driving thru this life blind, is actually driving thru with a massive amount of Faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing, by the Word of God. I hear God’s Spirit speak to me in many forms. In the books I read. In the energy work I do, and in the cycles of the seasons, the moon and the 24 hour day. If God tells me to Zig, I am going to Zig. If Goddess shares with me the need to Zag, then I will Zag. And when I return home to retrieve my children, my dogs and my dirty “drawls” I will do so with Grace and Ease.
So, thank you Charleston for a great visit. I am glad I did not move here since I have much work to do at home. But, just like Jesus was not received in His own city, I expect to have the desire to want to move again when I feel like no one close to me takes me serious about my true calling. (That is the Resistance we have to fight). It is when we think we know what people think about us, than can be very toxic. False Mind chatter can wreak havoc our plans if we let it and it can cause us great distress. I have learned this lesson well. So, when I get home next week and I start my motion up again to fight against the lies that Resistance brings, I am going to remind myself, that I am called to do the things I am doing and if and when, the Universe does not agree with my Will and my Plans, He and She, will close the doors. If my intention remains pure, then a new door will be there to replace the old one that slammed in my face!