“Not my day to go!”

That is what my dog is saying right about now.  I am sitting her with borderline emotions of anger, angriness and and I think I am stuck on the “avenge me” setting.  You know how we all have those moments of “Why God?”

After weeks of trying to get someone from our local pet care agency, I finally had to resort to being assertive to get someone to call me back.  I left three messages on their old school answering machine and only once in three weeks did someone call me back.  Twice on the answering machine messages, I had referenced the dates of which  my husband and I were needing to take off in order to put little Beansey to rest.

Beans has had liver cancer for a while and in the last 4 months we have watched Brusier turn from a chunky little Chihuahua into a frail little skeleton.  He is so skinny and his ribs are sticky out.  He wobbles when he walks and he pees in the house on average 4 times a day.  Not good.  If I have to go to work and kennel him, he urinates in his kennel and has to sit in it.  He is NOT going to get better.   Every vet we called in town wants an average of $400 to test him before they can “guarantee” me they will put him down.  Well, Mr. and Mrs. Vet, I am sorry but I do not have that kind of money and if I did, you are still not addressing the point that my dog is dying.  I am asking for a simple day to celebrate with him a day of crossing over and you want to rape my bank account.  Our own vet even make a smart ass remark that we had not been their since 2013.  Really???  I haven’t had my wellness since 2012 and you want to balk about that???????  Dogs are not the ones eating the GMO’s.

Well, to exasterbate today, we get there promptly at 10:48 am today and the little lady informs me that it is tomorrow at 11?  “Uh, no, we confirmed on the phone at 4:20pm last night you were going to see him today!!!  I even told the very attentive “receptionist” I had left the date on the machine and mentioned that we WERE on the same page.  Apparently not!  So, I asked her to please let him stay overnight and she said nope.  They don’t house euthanasia patients.   “Why not”?  I pay my taxes to the city so they can fund this facility so why is it I have to take this pet, all the way back home and bring him back?  They have plenty of room.   I have seen the renovations on the place lately and I highly doubt there is not a place to let Beans sleep.  Give him a pain pill.  He is crossing over.

So without luck, we trek our asses back home and my emotional husband has to go back to work and then do this all over again tomorrow.

So now, we are going to get to a deeper reasons of why I am writing all of this out.  I am OVER Social Stupidity!  This common mistake regarding this customer service “faux pya” has ripped out my heart and I am going to write.  (Did you expect any different from me?)

People, hear me out.  I am all for the world we live in but right now I am angry.  I am releasing this anger on a scale that is more Spiritual than I am able to disclose in the physical scale.  I have not thrown any TV’s lately but I can say, the more I look through my Third Eye at the world, I have to choose who I am able to  help, and who I am not.  And after today, I am no long going to let rude people or lazy people, hurt my Spirit Man.  People choose to be they way they are.  Just notice the inequality.  Can you see where all your security lies when it comes to your future?

I sit at work every day and I process people to find a job.  My findings in doing this are that only 15% of the people I get jobs even bother to show up.  At first, I thought I had not done a good job of explaining how great it will be to have a job.  I mean, everyone needs a paycheck and an opportunity to move into a company and be successful.  The American Dream.    But then I quickly realized how little people really did want to work and that I am killing myself to pay for THAT!!!!  I am paying for the imbalance.

Guys, Gals, LISTEN to me!  Working is not a negative but you got to realize you have to come to an interview without booty call pants on and your ass snagging the ground you are probably not going to get that office job.  Or if you are going to sport your Nazi tattoo at least be respectful because it does hurt some people and that is obvious.  Corporate America is no better.  And if you are one of the lucky one’s who work in corporate America, then you may be blessed enough to even HAVE internet so you can see my adverse reaction to my pain so know this.  At some point, Karma comes a calling’.  I have to stop being angry about the great divide between the socio-economic issue and just jump out there and start loving on people………… , Well all know the welfare system and the school system is broken.  The religious system is broken too.

Ya’ll see I don’t hid shit and when I am happy, I write, when I am mad, I write and when I am hurting, I definitely am going to write.  I hope it TRULY helps the masses someday.  I am vowing to go out into the streets soon and begin to do my work.  I want to do Readings, Writings and Reiki.  I want to be a Children’s Story Teller and eventually, I want to help people cross over.  I do not know what that looks like or when.  And 20 years from now, we will see if that is what happened.  All I know is I need to show up everyday and pray that I can be a good person.

In the very background of my sill cold house, the Dali Lama is saying “To Heal and Restore Broken Bodies.”  He is repeating it.  “To Heal and Restore Broken Bodies.”  What is a broken body?  Someone not full of happiness.   I am not happy at all about what happened to my family today.  My daughter has already pic stitched my dog and immortalized him on Facebook. She gave a beautiful speech “good-bye” and tonight he is going to actually be sitting in the kitchen chowing down on s STEAK!  The Irony of it all.  Oh, and Oreos.  I read in Silver RavenWolf’s book that I should honor Bruiser Beans with Purple Candles, Holy Water and Oreo Cookies.  We are just going to add a little steak to the ritual……..Zach even said we should buy two boxes but that would make me binge later on……..so, one box of Oreos.

Pray for me if I have not pissed you off or offended you in any way.  I NEVER mean to hurt anyone but God showed me I am an Avenger of Sorts.  I think it comes from working with the Angels.  Today’s lesson:

I have to channel my anger toward the Great Deception and not let isolated events rattle me from the Deeper Calling.

Namaste.

What is happening to the World?

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